Walt Disney's Army

One of the more peculiar things about my internship is the building in which it is set. Technically, I work for NASN, the North American Sports Network (your home for North American Sports!). However, they were bought up by ESPN about six months ago and since ESPN is owned by The Walt Disney Company, I therefore work in the Disney building in London. The walls are covered in images of coming movies, such as The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian and Wall-E, as well as various movie posters from the past like The Little Mermaid and The Lion King. There's even a Lion King themed meeting room on my floor. No, I am not joking. Yes, it is covered in images of Pride Rock. On the third floor, the walls are lined with pictures of Meredith Grey, McDreamy and the cast of Grey's Anatomy. I stay away from there as much as possible.

The weirdest part of working in a glorified child's environment, however, is the vast array of stuffed animals and plastic figures that are scattered around the building. Everything from Pongo and Perdy from 101 Dalmatians to the dragon from Bedknobs and Broomsticks cover every conceivable spare space in the building. Unused desks are piled with mounds of dogs and Piglets and I've even seen Ariel chilling out in some desk chairs near the copier room. My mind being the way it is, I suddenly had a thought today. A horrifying thought.

What if these inanimate figures of joyous, childish pleasure were to come alive and revolt against the office in an effort to take over London?

It may be unlikely, but think about it. When you see the number of plush-covered mammals on every floor, there has to be at least a 1:1 ratio of employees to animals. Animals like the dragon could easily take on three people, while the over-sized Pongo in accounting could bound across two rows of cubicles and take out the marketing executives before you could say 'Cruella DeVille.' Ariel will be useless without legs, which makes me thankful that we don't have Ursula around here somewhere. And as for the Zac Efron who would come out of the 873 posters on every floor, he'd just dance his way around the office, oblivious to the fact that his fellow human beings are being slaughtered left and right by a raging Pumba.

I know what you're thinking; how on earth is Seth going to be prepared for this? Well, I've been stocking up on hairspray and cigarette lighters, which should take care of most of the plush toys. Trying to take out the plastic one is still a bit of a mystery to me, though. Axes are out of the question, but I don't have any real idea of what to do. If you have any helpful hints on this subject, your help would be greatly appreciated. And now that this imaginative session is drawing to a close, it's probably time to get back to working at the internship.