To Infinity and Beyond...wherever that is

This week has brought a lot more news from the kids at Ithaca than I've heard in a while. The results for the LA Program are coming in with a sort of divining rod effect, separating those who are to go in the fall and those who will be going in the spring. My friend Callie had a big rollercoaster on Tuesday: she was assigned to the fall semester, which she really didn't want, but then was notified that she's a finalist for the Park Scholar Rising Junior Award!!!!! I'm so happy for her because she totally deserves to get it...I just wish I knew who else was notified as a finalist. Hehe, I'm a cheeky little monkey.

Wow. That was way too British and I had no idea what I was typing until it came onto the screen.

At any rate, this week has also brought about quite a lot of thinking in regards to topics that are too numerous to name, too sensitive to put online and too complex to put into complete and coherent sentences. But, as a fairly competent writer/journalist, I will place some of my eggs into this e-basket and see what hatches at the end of my writing. The first and most prevalent topic is L.A. Long story short, I am questioning whether or not I want to go. I have not received any notification as to whether or not I have been accepted, but doubts are starting to surface and have bubbled to the top of my mind and stayed there for at least 4 or 5 days now. L.A. is a great place with boundless opportunities and all that schmutz you hear all day long from the admissions counselors who are trying to make some poor kid pay $43,000+ a year to experience that boundless opportunity. It's the West Coast, filled with sunshine, beaches, Disneyland, television production studios galore and all the networking an Ithacan could ask for. However, I honestly can't say if I'd be happy there or not. Peer pressure got the best of me when I was making the decision to go abroad for the second time...which is another issue in and of itself because who says that I have to go abroad twice just because the scholarship covers it?! Not I, said the cat.

But where else is there to go? Washington D.C. has crossed my mind a few times, simply because of it's obviously the news capital (and literal capital for that matter) of the nation...the United States, that is. Duh, I'm in London, not the U.S. There would be chances to get connected with serious news people there. I won't lie, crossing over to the print journalism side of things has run its way through my mind, too, since the Washington Post is there. And the Washington Post has multimedia capabilities and could use someone to help them out with that. And then there's the option of just staying in Ithaca. Newswatch 16 could use some stability in on-air talent and it would give me the jump I need to get into an anchoring position for senior year. Not to mention the fact that there would be Relay For Life, Finalist Weekend and all of the fun activities that I miss from freshman year. But then I'd need to figure out housing for that semester.

It's a quagmire of thoughts that I've gotten myself into. Thank God the internship worked itself out today; I landed a paid internship with Channel 13 in Rochester through the NYSBA and Ithaca. It's only $7.15 an hour, but it's better than having to pay for credits. I'm still planning on doing a bit of small part-time work over the summer, maybe contracting myself out as a videographer. *shrugs* It's still up in the air.

That's the main one that needed to be let out. One of the lesser trains of thought is of what might happen after graduation. *Note: the following is not a call for sympathy* There's this flitting feeling that comes in and out of my mind like one of those single-engine airplanes with a sign flying off the back and the sign reads, "Are you really cut out for broadcast journalism?" I've barely started seriously working for the station and at this point in time, certain other people I know who have the exact same goal are anchoring news programs and creating resume tapes and locking down serious internships in the city. Meanwhile, I'm off in London working in the marketing department of ESPN (yes, marketing) doing writing and trying to make the most of the time that I'm here without sacrificing the career moves the world says I should be making. Defining a path to success is nowhere near similar to what I'm going through right now. Feels more like I'm hitchhiking my way along the highway until I arrive somewhere that looks good enough to stay for a while.

It's been one of those days, you know? Where introspect seems to pervade every thought and movement in your body and mind. A constant sigh is always on your edge of your lungs and no matter how hard you try, you can't seem to distract yourself from the ever-present reality that you are living in. This messed up world where you become absorbed with your problems and your own life to the point where you can't stop and realize that there are other people out there who are far worse off than you but you don't acknowledge it...which makes me a hypocrite because that's exactly what I've done in this splurge of writing.

This is supposed to keep you updated on my life in London, not give you glimpses into next semester/next year/the rest of my life. Although I haven't really done much in London lately, something that I'm not too happy with. Exploration needs to be the name of the game from here on out; galleries and restaurants and pubs and shows that remain to be seen, trading my hold on my bank account for a life well-lived. We'll see where that decision leads me, or all of the preceding ones that were just laid out for that matter.